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So sexual-massage, yeah? It’s like a massage, but spicy, innit. Them hands ain’t just kneadin’ ya back - they’re goin’ *places*, fam. Little-known fact - back in ancient times, them Chinese emperors was gettin’ these rubs to “balance their chi” or summat. Probs just an excuse to get freaky, haha! Makes me laff thinkin’ about some posh git in a robe tryna play it cool while he’s all oiled up.

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But then, I trip over a rock. Classic me, right? I laugh it off, but inside I’m like, “Really? You had to do that?” I get up, dust myself off, and head back to the center.

Israeli riot police fires tear gas at Jewish protesters marching through town